50 is over the hill…that’s what the giant birthday button says. When I first unwrapped it, I felt a little twinge realizing I really am 50. Then almost immediately, I giggled because I realized this – 50 isn’t over the hill, 50 is over the hump!
Aging is inevitable but getting “old” is totally up to you. The Hump:
In my twenties, I obsessively worked for my appearance – and still, I often felt unfit. In my thirties, I obsessively worked for my career (security) – and still, I often felt restless. In my forties, I produced more than I ever imagined I would – and still, I often felt empty.
So, while my body may not be as fit or firm as it was at 20,30, or even 40 at 50, I’m in the best shape of my life! My body, mind, and spirit are the healthiest I have ever been. And, by that, I mean the most sound, secure, and connected. My relationships are more rooted, authentic, and precious, my experiences more vibrant, and my energy is channeled by choice as I invest my resources into those people, places, and things that show up with a robust (unapologetic) passion for being authentic, vital, and free.
The younger years were for learning how to move beyond the hump of habitual overdoing, people-pleasing, and a belief that the path to a life full of magical moments, abundance, and prosperity is paved with a ton of over-extending my self when really just the opposite can be true.
It’s not a midlife crisis, it is a transformation. An evolution.
So, for all my friends thinking, another decade means you’re old, over the hill, or that your best years in this life are behind you, I hope to remind you that life points each of us in the direction we most need to travel to find the best feeling years yet!
While it’s true that it all takes work, 50 feels like I’m just getting started, and that feels fantastic!
Midlife is Full of Opportunity and Growth
You may need reading glasses but you are infinitely clearer on who you are. You know your strengths (and weaknesses). You know the skills you have and the ones you want to develop. You know what your body likes and what makes it most efficient. Whether you utilize your innate gifts or fuel your body with what it craves is a different conversation and usually one that’s based around some kind of fear story, but the good news is that you can always learn to tell yourself new (and truer) stories.
Your “I don’t give a shit” filter is much more efficient. One of the best things I learned in leadership and wellcoaching is that what other people think of me is actually none of my business. If I stay in my integrity (and in my own business) and act accordingly that’s all that matters. And besides, I have zero control over what anyone else thinks. “Shoulding” all over myself and others will keep me stuck and resentful. Not interested.
You are so much wiser! You know the difference between “not sweating the small stuff” and “it’s the little things”. Depending on who you are, that can mean anything from spending less time cleaning the dishes, obsessing over a decision you made as a parent or compulsively searching online for the “perfect” black dress (when you already have a few in your closet) to spending more time going outdoors, being with the people who totally “get” you, reconnecting with yourself, and pondering what things bring more meaning to your life.
Your FOMO* eases into JOMO*. Pretending you like something is so not worth the time and energy. It goes along with your more efficient “I don’t give a shit” filter and the fact that you are so much wiser. How you decide to spend your time becomes an easier decision. Yes, you will still likely fall into procrastination traps like too much Facebook, Pinterest or puttering around (pick your poison) but that’s a whole different conversation. *Fear Of Missing Out –> Joy Of Missing Out
One of the reasons I love wellcoaching is because when people are experiencing dis-ease or holding themselves back in some way it’s almost 100% of the time connected to a fear that needs to be dislodged. It’s a joy to help them dissolve fear for self-care and love.
End of story: 50 means whatever you will it to mean. What you choose it to be. And that, my friends, is pretty amazing.